I officially retire.....

Remember how I said I can be a bit idealistic and plan all these days or trips?  Well, I did it again.  This past weekend. 

My cousin's little girl, Breckyn, turned 1 on Saturday.  Her party was at 2:00, then we were headed to the lake to meet up with my family.  I was trying to plan out our time, Kade's nap, make sure we had everything we would need, trying to plan the "perfect" weekend, etc.  I ended up getting all stressed out. 

I didn't even realize I was doing it again.  Trying to be "Super Mom"  as Marc calls it.  Worrying way too much about every little detail and getting all stressed out, for nothing, really.  Setting unrealistic goals and expectations.  Unfortunately, as I said, I didn't realize I was in "Super Mom" mode.  I was short all day with Marc on Saturday.  I snapped at him on more than one occasion. 

We got to the lake around 4:30, and I was still pretty uptight.  We met up with my parents, and my sister and her family.  We were out on the boats, and found a nice area to swim.  I started to worry that Kade wouldn't like it, which made me nervous.  I was convinced I would just sit on the boat with him.  Marc asked for Kade, then they got into the lake.  Kade fussed for just a little bit, and then was fine, splashing around.  My worries were unfounded.  Marleigh and my 4 year old nephew, Luke, had a ball.  They talked about Marleigh tubing with him the next day.  Of course, "Super Mom"  was worried about her falling off or her getting scared. I just didn't think it was that good of an idea.

At this point I was still oblivious to the fact that I was being "Super Mom".

We had a nice, relaxing evening.  The kids all played together.  Marleigh and Luke have such a good time together.  Luke LOVES babies, so he pays attention to Kade, which Kade just eats up.  Kade love babies that are smaller than he is, so he was all about my 7 month old niece, Zoey. 

We got up Sunday morning, and I started trying to figure out what was going to be the best "plan"  for the day.  When to do what.  I was worrying about things that are just ridiculous.  Around 10:00am we headed out for a boat ride.  Marc was gracious enough to stay in the camper with Kade, because he was going to be needing a nap.

Around 11:45, we ran into my sister's family.  They asked if Marleigh wanted a tube ride.  She was so excited, she about jumped right out of the boat and into theirs.  Apprehensive, I said she could go.  My sister said she and Luke would ride with her.  I thought it was a much better idea than me going with her.  If for some reason, she did fall off, I am pretty sure that I would freak out.

With my brother in law driving, Shannon, Luke, and Marleigh got out on the tube.  Marleigh was a bit timid at first, but warmed right up.  She was smiling and having the time of her life.  That is when it hit me:  She's fine.  She's a normal, healthy  3 year old that is having a ball.  Something about seeing her out there, got me teary eyed.  I just sat there and marveled at God's incredible goodness.  What a special and perfect gift that little girl is. 

Why had I gotten myself so worried and stressed out the day before?  If she fell off, it would be okay.  I have got to let her experience things, and stop with the incessant need to protect her from everything.  I thought I had been getting better about worrying, but apparently not.   THIS (Marleigh being so happy and making memories) was my ultimate goal, and it was happening right in front of my eyes.  All the planning and worrying the day before, didn't matter.  All it did was make me uptight and a person that I don't really care to be. 

When we got back to the campsite, I knew I owed my husband an apology.  Not that it makes up for snapping at him, but at least he knew that I knew I was wrong.  I am just lucky to be married to such a forgiving man. 

After naps yesterday, we went to a nice sandy beach and everyone had fun.  We had water guns, sand toys, floaties, all the necessities.  It was indeed, the perfect day.  Marleigh asked if we could just stay at the lake forever.  I asked her what her favorite  part of the lake was and she said, "The tube ride!  It was awesome!" 

So, I now can say, I officially retire as "Super Mom".  Or at least I am really going to try to.  I know it won't be easy, but I don't want to be that Mom that gets so easily stressed.  Not everything has to be so planned out.  Sometimes, the most perfect days, are the ones we don't plan at all.