Delayed

Today's blog post brought to you courtesy a fight delay at the airport in Las Vegas.  :(

One of Marc's good friends from college got married in Las Vegas this past Saturday.  My parents graciously agreed to keep Marleigh and Kade.  I was apprehensive about leaving my babies for so long. I can explain to Marleigh that Mommy and Daddy were going to a wedding and we'd be home soon.  Her response?  "Have fun!  Love you! Oh!!!! I get to go stay with Papa and Gigi?!?  Hooray!!!!"  But poor Bubba....I just kept thinking he probably thought, "Why did my Mama leave me?" Made me feel bad for the little guy. More about that later. 

So we thought we would be flying back home at 4:25.  I was so excited to get home to my sleeping babies, but that is delayed (unexplained 3.5 hour delay, ETA at Wichita, midnight plus a 2 hour drive), as well as a post about our trip.  

Spring

Marleigh has always adored flowers.  She loves to smell them, look at them, and touch them.  Daddy and the kids sent me some roses for Valentine's Day.  They were gorgeous!  I honestly think Marleigh loved them even more than her Mama.  She would ask numerous times a day to smell Mommy's pretty flowers. 

A few days later, February 19th, the anniversary of Natalie's passing, we took flowers out to Natalie at the cemetery.  Marleigh was questioning why we would leave such pretty flowers outside.  I explained to her that we were leaving the flowers outside so that her sister could enjoy them.  We left them outside for Natalie. 

Spring has come on in full swing in the last week or so.  We have loved being outdoors. The grass is greening up with the recent rain, and our tree in the backyard is beginning to bloom.  Last night, Marleigh came running to me.  She was overcome with excitement.  She quickly grabbed my hand and drug me to the kitchen window.  "Mommy, look!!!  The tree grew pretty flowers for my sister, Natalie!  I bet she loves them!"  Marleigh was elated.  She jumped up and down and was thrilled for her sister to have such beautiful flowers.  What an incredible heart my little girl has.   
 
I really needed that moment.  I had probably looked at that tree a dozen times and not noticed it was blooming.  I had been caught up in the everyday life.  Getting a little weary of the monotonous, winter days.  I wasn't taking the time to find the pleasure of the little things in our daily life. I always feel a little sluggish in the last couple of months of winter. The joy of Christmas has come and gone. Not only are the days short and cold, but we experienced two enormous losses in those months. In January of 2008, we lost Marc's brother, Matt. Then in February of 2009, Natalie passed away.  Needless to say, I find the winter months a bit challenging. 

We have endured many cold, dreary winters, but there is always the promise of spring.  Renewing and refreshing.  There's bound to be more winters in my future, but I hope that I can weather them gracefully, and remember there is always hope and spring ahead.  Funny how we can so easily relate most life events to our relationship with God.  No matter what we weather in our faith, He is always there to start fresh and renew our spirit.

Good Old Friends

I am very lucky. I live back in the town I grew up in. Two of my close childhood friends, Jami and Stephanie live within 20 miles.  Steph actually is the one that introduced Marc and I!   It is a great blessing to have them so close. Granted, I don't talk to them or see them near as much as I used to, we're all busy with kids, work, etc., but when we are together, it is like we never left off.  I truly enjoy meeting new people, and making new friends.  But, there is just a certain comfort and level of understanding with people that have known you forever.  These girls have always been there for me.  Through bad hair in the 90's to some of my best memories in high school, college, and beyond. They've seen me at my absolute worst, and they still choose to be a part of my life.  ;) 

So much has changed in the 13 years since we graduated high school, but one thing has remained the same.  These girls are the best good old friends a girl could ask for. 

Stephanie, Jami, and I a few years ago. 



What a fun night! 



Shortly after the girls were born, Jami and Steph came to Wichita to see us.  They gave me the bracelet below  (of course Kade's name wasn't on it then).  I could not think of a more perfect gift.  Everything about it is perfect. This bracelet was a great comfort for me while the girls were in the hospital.  It symbolized my sweet babies, so I felt like I had a piece of them with me, but it also was a reminder that I was loved by my friends and by God.   The sentimental value of this bracelet is priceless.  I wear it everyday.   

Thank you girls, for always being there.  Love you both! 

We are so ready for summer!

What a gorgeous day it was yesterday!  We took full advantage!

My two favorite people on Earth. 

He is such a happy guy. 

Did you know they don't make prescription sunglasses for kids?  Nor do they have any magnetic kind that fit kids' glasses?  Gigi found the smallest pair she could and modified them to fit Marleigh's glasses. 

Just hanging out.  Watching Sissy run around. 

So happy to be outside! 

Love those cubby legs!  Although, I think I'm going to have a hard time finding shoes for those feet! 

Beautiful blue-eyed boy. 

She's growing up way too fast! 

Taking a break from the nonstop running, swinging, sliding, and ball playing. 

This and That

Marleigh ASKED for Kade to snuggle with her on the couch the other day.  I was shocked!  She loves her little brother, but usually isn't much for cuddling with him.  He LOVES to be anywhere near his Sissy, so he was all smiles.  :)


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Marleigh has had a stuffy nose for the past few days.  Yesterday morning she woke up with a slight fever, so we gave her Motrin.  After she got up from her nap, it was over 102 degrees, so to the doctor we went.  Poor little thing has strep.  She was already feeling better this morning.  Now let's hope Kade doesn't get it!

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Kade is crawling all over the house now!  It is still kind of an army crawl, but he's got some speed.  He's actually pretty quick for all that weight he has to maneuver!  :)  Marleigh is less than thrilled that her brother is mobile.  A few days ago, I walked in to her taking his bink out of his mouth and saying, "Kade, I want you to pay attention.  Look at me, Kade.  Quit taking my toys.  You stay over there.  These are not toys for babies to put in their mouths.  These are my toys.    If you put that in your mouth one more time, you're going to time out.  Do you understand?"  It was incredibly hard to keep a straight face! 

Kade has a tooth!  Finally!  He's working on his other bottom front tooth, too.  I hope they all hurry up and come in. 

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Question for anyone that has both a son and a daughter:  Were they inherently different from the get go?  Marleigh and Kade are night and day. Marleigh was a little more reserved and timid.  Kade is ALL boy.  He knocks everything over.  Bangs anything he can get his hands on, and is just generally into everything!  :) It is so neat to see the differences in them already.  Or maybe it is the difference between a first born and a younger sibling. 

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I just realized that exactly two weeks from today, we leave for Las Vegas.  I know we will have so much fun watching our friends get married, but I am starting to freak out just a little bit.  I know there is no reason to.  They will be having the time or their lives at Papa and Gigi's, but I am going to miss them terribly!

More Thoughts on Prayer

A few days ago, Pastor Ryan asked, "Why do you pray?"  For some reason, I couldn't get this off of my mind last night.  I laid in bed for over 2 hours mulling this over in my head.  Not only, why but how.

When I was younger, my prayers were pretty much one sided conversations, and pretty much about one subject.  Mostly, "I, I, I...me, me, me...please give me...be with..... blah, blah, blah,"  then a quick, "thanks and forgive me"  at the end.   Prayer = talking to God.  I talked to God frequently.  If I had a good prayer life, I was good with God, right? 

I have had so much time to think, and pray the last 3 years.  One of my biggest revelations?  Prayer = communicating with God.  Communicating is a 2 way street.  Yes, there should be talking on my part, but there should also be plenty of time spent in prayer, listening.  Being still and hearing God as He speaks to me.  How in the world was I following God's purpose for my life if I spent all the time talking and not listening to Him?  Recently,  my most special moments with the Lord have been when I was quiet. Listening with my heart, and feeling His presence. By truly hearing God, I am able to talk to Him so much better. 

A lot of times, thanking God and asking for forgiveness used to be somewhat monotonous.  Go through the motions, say the words.  Kind of like a "talk to you later, bye" at then end of a phone conversation.  Once I started slowing down, I realized how important the condition of my heart was when I thanked Him and begged for His gracious forgiveness.  It is not just about saying the words.  Anyone can say the words.  It is the true spirit in which they are said. 

Revelation #2.  I had not been what I call, "Praying in Faith".  I was trying to plead with God to get my own agenda accomplished.  As I have said before, when I was in preterm labor, and when Natalie was sick, I tried bargaining with God.  If he would only grant me my request, I would do ANYTHING.  "Praying in Faith"  is 100% giving up your personal agenda.  Having enough faith in God to KNOW that His plan is much greater than my own personal wants.  To KNOW that even if it may cause me the worst pain imaginable, God loves me and has a specific purpose, which is greater than anything I can comprehend.  I look back and would do so many things different.  If I had a chance to do it over again, I think my prayer when Natalie was sick would go something like this:

Dear God,
I come to You heartbroken.  This sweet, little girl that You have so generously given to us is in a tremendous amount of pain.  Lord, You entrusted me to be her mother here on Earth, but she is Your child.  I now lay Natalie at Your feet, and pray that Your will be done.  Whether it be here on this Earth, or in her Eternal life in heaven, please take her pain.  Restore her body.  I trust in You, Lord.  I have faith in You.  Father, Your will be done.  Amen. 

Don't get me wrong, I don't have hours on end to sit in prayer.  I live in the real world.  Kids to take care of, house to clean, job, etc.  I have learned to take my quiet time with the Lord when I can get it.  Often, it is the 15 minute drive to pick up the kids after work.  I'll turn off the radio and communicate with God.  It is still far from perfect, but my prayer life is evolving.  Growing more and more, because of my children.  Like any parent,  I love my kids, but I am awestruck, at how God has used them to work wonders in my life and relationship with Him.  I am so very humbled, that He has blessed us with these 3 little people.  What an extraordinary gift they are.