The Christmas season created some of the most glorious memories. Listening to Marleigh and Kade laugh at each other. Marleigh helping Kade open his presents. The giddiness that filled Marleigh when she was about to open her gifts. Watching Marleigh play with her little brother and share her toys. Hearing that sweet, little girl say, “Kade is my best friend!” Being together to share the best gift of all, Jesus Christ, with my family. I am so in love with my sweet babies. I praise God for them.
Our new personalized stockings hung on the fireplace mantle. I searched until I found just the right ones, and I love them. But there should be one more. The holidays reminded me of the part of our family that is no longer here with us on Earth. My heart has been heavy the past couple of weeks. As I see Marleigh and Kade interact, I can’t help but feel someone is missing. How would Natalie interact with her brother and sister? What would her laugh sound like?
People have told me that you can’t dwell on the “what if’s”. I understand that. But Natalie wasn’t a “what if”. Natalie was. She was small. She was beautiful. She was innocent. She was strong. She was a fighter. And she still is our daughter.
No matter what the occasion, a holiday, birthday, or family memory, I will ALWAYS miss Natalie. I will ALWAYS ache for the day when we are a complete family again. That is what gets me through. The promise that one day, we will all be together.
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