I know that most people don't know what to say about Natalie. I know their hearts are in their right place. However, there a few things that have been said or not said to me that I would never want said to any other parent that has lost a child.
Please don't act like she never existed. Someone said they don't want to mention her, because it might upset me. She is our daughter. She is Marleigh's sister. She may not still be with us here on earth, but she lives on in heaven. Regardless of if you mention her or not, I think about her many times a day. Some days are harder than others. What would upset me is people forgetting about her beautiful little life. She was so amazing & so strong.
Someone told me, "I bet you appreciate Marleigh so much more." No, I fully recognized that both of my daughters were incredible gifts from God from the instant they were concieved. I feel so blessed & honored that he chose me to be their mother.
I've also heard, "at least you still have Marleigh." Yes, I am very thankful for my beautiful Marleigh, but that will NEVER replace Natalie. No child ever could. Each child is a unique miracle that can never be duplicated.
Then there was the comment, "at least she wasn't any older." I realize she was only 27 days old, but again, this was my baby. This was a part of my heart. It doesn't matter if she was 27 minutes, 27 days, or 27 years old. We spent every day with her. Holding her, sitting by her side. We were there the day she got sick clear til the end. Age has nothing to do with it. She was our little girl.
We will never be the same. We will never forget her. We can only hope to work through some of our pain & live for our precious little girl that we still have.
Dear Sarah, Marc and Marliegh: Little Natalie will always be with you, her short life left an impression not just on your family but on everyone who believed. She was a fighter to the end and the love that she brought to you will give you strength and comfort that will last an eternity!
ReplyDeleteAs a parent you will never forget the first moment you touched her and the moment you returned her to God she will always be a part of your lives. I truly believe that people sometimes do not know what to say or how to say it but do not be offended or let it get you down, until people have walked down this path or had a heart retching experience themselves they really don’t know how it feels.
After all you have been through I believe You guys are tough ,and your love for each other and your girls will get you through even the toughest times just believe that every time the wind blows threw your hair it is Natalie, a butterfly fluttering around you it is Natalie and watching the sunset at night it is Natalie telling you it’s OK! Brenda Perez
It breaks my heart to hear some of the comments made. I'm sure people do not know what to say, but know that they have the best intentions. Natalie is always looking down on you and will be the most precious little girl and angel that anyone could ask for. She will always be with you and looking out for your family. Like you said, you have to work through the pain and live for Marleigh. Hang in there. You have so many supporters that love you and will always be there for you. Matt and I would love to come out and visit you guys this summer. Hang in there.
ReplyDeleteWe love ya guys!
The Roy's
Beautifully said. Wishing you peace and healing!
ReplyDeleteIt is hard to know what to say or write sometimes, but it's good that you let us know how you felt. Ever since the girls were born, I've wanted to know more about them...how they're alike, how they're different. I guess that's my interest as a twin, and especially as a "Johnson twin". I hope someday soon we have the chance to come, visit, and hear all about the girls.
ReplyDeleteJulinne & Andy
Beautifully said. Thank you for expressing your heart. It just may help us all help someone else at another time.
ReplyDeleteYour words spoke to me as I remembered a time in my life.
Some people are cruel and thoughtless, but most of the time I've realized they don't know what to say. Still know most of them really do care and love you.
Sometimes people are just trying to soothe over our hurting hearts, and they end up making us feel worse. Thank you for sharing from your heart. I too have lost 2 babies, one to a tubal pregnancy and the other I miscarried at 2 months. It doesn't matter the "age" of your baby, it is your baby, from the moment of conception and the love you feel for that special miracle will be with you forever. A baby is the ultimate love in your life, because it is created by the love between your husband, yourself and our Lord above. Thank you for expressing your feelings. Our love and prayers are with you everyday!
ReplyDeleteWhere's my "like" button when I need it? lol Very well said Sarah. You know that I understand there are difficult times in our lives when people don't know what to say, & even with the best of intentions, end up hurting us with their comments. I hope that in time that those comments won't hurt you so much. The last thing I'm sure anyone would want to do is to cause you more pain. I still pray for you & *both* of your beautiful girls! Huge hugs Sarah! We love you!
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