Parenting

I knew that being a parent would be a difficult, yet rewarding task.  And while Marc and I have our own parenting style, we have quickly learned that every child is different.  Marleigh and Kade are complete opposites.  Marleigh is very cautious.  Kade is fearless.  Marleigh is very particular and organized.  Kade lives to make messes and get dirty.  Marleigh loves to snuggle.  Kade would rather wrestle.  Marleigh gets frustrated easily.  Kade has incredible determination.  Marleigh has always loved to learn.  Kade would much rather be running and playing.  Marleigh is a little behind in her coordination.  Kade already hits the ball off the tee.  Marleigh has had so many issues with food.  Kade eats like crazy, swallowing food whole half the time.

With Marleigh and Kade being so completely different, it only stands to reason that I will have to adjust my parenting and discipline accordingly.  Marleigh and Kade respond to discipline differently as well.  Marleigh has always responded best by getting her calm first, then talking rationally.  Marleigh has gotten a few spankings, but we quickly learned it just added fuel to the fire if she was throwing a fit.  Kade on the other hand... I can talk to him til I'm blue in the face sometimes, and it does no good.  He has already gotten more little swats on his bottom than his sister ever thought about.  Many times, the swats are just little attention getters.  Usually it just takes one, and he will quit throwing a fit.

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Before having my own children, I never really thought about what a child needs to feel loved.  I always just knew how much I would love my children, and assumed they would understand.  However, many things in life are all about perception.  Before being a Mommy, I didn't give much thought to how my children would perceive being loved.

Marleigh very much craves her Daddy's attention and approval.  What makes her feel loved and happiest is getting one on one time with her Daddy.  If he is gone for more than a day or two, or they don't have their own special time together, her whole demeanor changes.  I could spend all day with her, telling her how much I loved her, doing all of her favorite things, but spending time with Daddy is where it is at.   I know that she loves me, and knows how much I love her, but it is her Daddy that is such a vital part of her feeling loved.

Kade is still young enough, that I'm not 100% sure about him yet.   He is very much into positive affirmation, but that could just be his age.  If he does something and we tell him, "Good job, Kade!"  or give him a high five, or fist bump, he just smiles from ear to ear.  I am anxious to see how he grows and changes in the coming months.

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While Marleigh and Kade are so very different, I  love them both equally.  I embrace their differences.  That's what makes them who they are.  They are uniquely and perfectly created .   Does it sometimes make it challenging?  Yes.  I have spent a lot time in prayer seeking patience and wisdom in how to parent these two little people. I want to guide them in the direction God desires, and encourage them to be who He wants them to be. There are times when I have to stop myself.  I don't want my being overly cautious to ever stifle Kade's natural exuberance or sense of adventure (unless he could really hurt himself).  I also don't want to force Marleigh to be an athlete if that just isn't her thing.

Some days are tough.  Some days, I feel completely defeated, knowing that I could have handled things better.  But every day is a fresh start and a chance to learn more about these beautiful gifts I have been given.  I know that there is no such thing as a perfect parent, or always being fair, but I am trying to learn what works best for each of them as unique individuals.  Regardless of the outcome of the day, or how I am feeling, I still thank God every night, that He chose me to be their Mom.  I hope they both always know how treasured they are, and how proud of them I am.