What I'm excited about.

I am absolutely, 100% completely excited about meeting our son here in just a few short weeks.  He is so loved already.  I think that before you have children, no matter what people tell you, you can not ever fully comprehend the instant, intense love that you have for your child the moment they enter the world.  Knowing that kind of love already, I am thrilled at the thought of that wash of emotions once again.

But do you want to know, what I am over the moon excited about?  I know it may sound very shallow, but I am ecstatic that we will be going to the hospital, having a baby, and coming home together as a family a few days later. 

Preterm labor was not fun... well, labor in general never really is, but when you are only 26 weeks pregnant, it greatly increases the stress.    An ambulance ride wasn't exactly how I envisioned arriving to the hospital.  Unless this baby decides other wise, we will know ahead of time, when he will be born.  There won't be any frantic rushing around.  There won't be 48 hours of contractions and praying non-stop.

My labor progressed so quickly.  I was terrified by the fact that the girls were so early and small.  Add the fact that Marc missed the birth of our daughters, I'd say over all, it wasn't what I had in mind.  I am so thankful that Marc will actually be there as his son enters the world.  I'm sure it will still be intense, but not nearly the chaos of the birth of our girls. 

I barely got to see the girls for a split second after they were born.  Then they were whisked away to the NICU.  I was actually very lucky that within just a few days, I was able to hold both my children.  I can't tell you how much I am looking forward to holding my sweet little boy within minutes after he is born. The fact that I won't need "permission"  to get him out an incubator. He won't have IV's and tubes to worry about.  It is such a relief.

I am so eager to be able to nurse him.  I waited so long to be able to nurse Marleigh.  It is such a special thing between a mother and her child.  And while I did get to nurse Marleigh a few times, she had so many meds that she was fed by bottle the majority of the time.  Which meant I had a very unfufilling, but close relationship with my breast pump.  Not really the most enjoyable thing.

Leaving Wesley for the first time after having the girls was very hard.  It didn't seem right that I was leaving my tiny, precious babies.  I am loving the fact that we will be able to leave the hospital together as family. 

When I went into pre-term labor, we were having carpet laid in the basement of our house.  Needless to say, our house was a complete disaster.  Torn up from one end to the other.  We didn't have the carseat, the nursery done, or even an organized house.  Another additional stress when we finally did get to bring Marleigh home.  I plan to have the house clean, organized, and Jr.'s room completely ready, so that when we come home, we can just relax and enjoy our first few days home. 

I am also very happy that we won't have the additional stress of bringing home a fragile preemie that is on monitors and various medications.  Worrying that your child will have an apnea or bradychardia or stop breathing while eating..... it takes it toll.  I know any new baby brings some tension and anxiety, but much less than a 26 week preemie. 

Please don't get me wrong, I am so grateful for Marleigh and the progress she has made.  Please don't take it as me complaining or feeling sorry for myself.  I am just beyond elated that Jr. has stayed put so long, and he won't have all the struggles that his sisters did.  And that is what I am excited about.