Wednesday, August 11, 2010

Fear

I'm usually not one to worry too much about all the "what ifs" in life. I've learned that I'm not in control, someone much greater than me is. I trust in Him and His master plan. However, one thing I can control is how I remember Natalie. I worry about how all of this will affect Marleigh. I don't want to dwell on the fact that Marleigh lost her twin sister. I don't want every milestone in Marleigh's life to be saddened with the memory of her sweet sister. But the fact is, we lost part of our family. That will never change. I also don't want to act like it doesn't still hurt, that Natalie isn't still a part of us and that I don't miss her every single day. I worry as Marleigh is getting older that I won't handle something in the best way possible, and that it may have a negative effect on her. So where exactly is the fine line of remembering Natalie without having the constant sorrow? How do we handle it so that Marleigh knows how much we love and miss Natalie, but also knows how incredibly blessed and lucky we are to have her as our daughter?

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