Siblings

I've always known that at some point, Marleigh will start comprehending more about losing her sister.  She will ask more questions, and want to know more about her twin sister, Natalie.

 A few days ago, Marc and I had driven separately out to our friends' house that live in the country.  Kade hopped in with Marc to ride home, and Marleigh got in with me.  We turned and drove by the cemetery.  We have driven by it many times before, but for some reason, that day Marleigh very quietly asked, "Is that Natalie's cemetery?"  I explained that Natalie was at the cemetery out by Garfield, because that is where most of Mommy's family is buried.  Marleigh continued very softly, "I really wish my sister was still alive so that I could have a best friend.  We could color together, play barbies, and dance together.  She'd always be here to be my best friend."  As I was getting choked up, I looked in my rear view mirror to see her eyes welling up with tears as well.

I am lucky.  I have a sister.  We may not have always gotten along perfectly, but I know what an incredible blessing it is to have a sister, a permanent best friend.  There is no one in this world that knows more about me than Shannon.  For that matter, there is probably no one that knows me better than her, either.  There is just a special bond that sisters have.  When I stop and think about it, I can't help but feel so sorry that Marleigh won't get to know that kind of special relationship.

Marleigh, however, has something that I had never had, a brother.  She has a unique and close relationship with her little brother.  They are very much opposites, but it seems to make their relationship work so well.  Marleigh is the more reserved, cautious, and often the leader.  Kade is loud, fearless, and will do anything to make his big sister smile.  They do share one similarity, they are both ferociously protective of the other.  Of course it is different than having a sister, but it is just as special.  Just the other day, while at a birthday party, another mother got my attention.  Marleigh and Kade were walking around holding hands.  The other mom inquired if they always got along that well, and I smiled and replied that yes, for the most part, they do.  They have their moments, as all siblings do, but they are incredibly close and the best of friends.

After gaining my composure, I told Marleigh that I understood and that I would give anything for her sister to still be here with us, too.  I explained that she was lucky, though, to have a little brother and many other friends.  I asked her who her best friend was, and she said with a smile, "My Bubba!  He is so funny and makes me laugh!"   With that, she started chattering about all the silly things her and her brother do, and her carefree, happy little disposition was back.

I know there will always be a void in Marleigh's heart.  A place that is special and reserved for her sister.  There is the same void in my heart, too.  But I am thankful that God blessed her with a brother to fill up the rest of it.

Marleigh's First Dance Recital

I think I have mentioned before that we have been taking Marleigh over to Pre-Ballet dance class once a week.  This past Saturday was her big recital.  She was beyond excited!

The dancers are supposed to wear certain makeup colors and all fix their hair the same way.  I was a little hesitant about the makeup.  Marleigh is only 5 years old.  Daddy convinced me a little makeup wouldn't hurt.  He didn't want her to be the only without it on.  So, I took Marleigh shopping to pick out her makeup.  Oh my...  she was grinning ear to ear and shrieking, she was so happy.

Marleigh is a very lucky little girl.  She had quite the crowd come watch her dance.  Grandma and Grandpa Johnson drove all the way from Mound City to see her dance.  Aunt Shannon, Luke, and Zoey made the trip from Hutchinson, Great Aunt K made the short drive from Hoisington, and Papa and Gigi were there, too!  She had a whole cheering section!  We hope they all know how much we appreciate them making the effort to come to the recital!

Makeup on and ready to go!

The girls' outfits were adorable!

After the show.  I don't think she stopped smiling for
the rest of the day! 

The video quality isn't the best, but Marleigh is second from the right.

As we were driving home, I teared up a couple of times.  God has done amazing things in Marleigh's young life.  I am humbled by His goodness.  

Little, Everyday Moments

People are always saying, "Once it is on the Internet, it will be there forever!"  I hope that is true, because that's why I put so many pictures of the kids and the things they say.  The may not be huge, monumental events, but it is the everyday things, I want to remember!

Grandma sent us moustaches, and the kids LOVED them!  Thanks, Grandma!  :) 

I think Kade totally looks like Luigi from Mario Bros. :)

Not so patiently waiting for Bubba to get up from his
nap so that we could run through the sprinkler!

Rapunzel was up in her tower!

Marc always has a shadow.  No matter what he is doing or working on, Kade is right there, too!

Mr. Big stuff driving the lawn mower!  

We were driving to daycare one morning, and it had rained (just a teeeeeny bit).  I casually said, "Praise God for rain!"  Kade piped right up!  I had to have him repeat it so I could get it on video!  

And then there was this...

We couldn't be any prouder of her!

 

Letting Go, but Holding On

Ever since Marleigh started walking, when we were out somewhere in public, her little hand always just found mine.  It was automatic.  I'd get her out of her car seat, and without really knowing who reached for who, her hand was in mine.  To be honest, I had never really thought much about it at all, until last week.

One day last week, I was dropping Marleigh off at preschool.  We were chatting about what her letter was for the week.  I put the car in park, and got her out of the car.  As I was shutting the door, I reached for her hand.  She ran ahead, yelling over her shoulder, "Mom, I don't need to hold your hand!!!"

Whoa.  I stopped dead in my tracks.  My ears heard what she said, but my heart heard, "Mom, I don't need you!"  Ouch.  Marleigh has always been so shy and dependent.  She has been the one that sticks close by, never venturing too far from me.  With all that she has been through, I have always been right beside her, trying to help her or protect her.  Looking back, I probably held on a little too tight.  But at the time, all I knew was the tremendous pain and struggles she had at such an early age.  I had felt so helpless then.   Much the same as I felt in that moment when she said, "Mom, I don't need to hold your hand!!!"

Marleigh noticed I had stopped behind her, just as she was reaching for the door.  (That in itself is HUGE for her.  She normally waits for me to open any door.)  She hollered to me, "Come on, Mom!" I quickly followed her in,  we hugged and said our goodbyes just like we do every morning.  Obviously, she had not thought twice about not holding my hand.  I was so shocked and proud of her.

 The past year or so, we have been making a real effort with Marleigh.  We've been fostering confidence and independence. There has been plenty of bumps on our road to independence. She still refuses to ride a bike, because it is "Just. Too. Hard."   Numerous times, she's gotten frustrated or hurt and came running, but we have tried to keep encouraging her to do things on her own.  It has been hard both for her and for me.  Marc has had to remind me often to let her do things for herself.  It is a work in progress.  But there is progress.  She doesn't need my hand anymore.

So precious girl, I am letting go of your hand, but holding on forever with my heart.  You may not need me the way you used to, but I will always be here with my hand out, just in case.  I love you so much!

Kade's Allergies/Asthma and Immunology

This poor, sweet boy suffers with allergies.  Back when he was younger, Kade was diagnosed with allergies and asthma.  He does fairly well while medicated, but there are times when he is miserable and coughs all night.  Then back a few months ago, he had multiple times when he broke out in hives.  We consulted his doctor, and they suggested a trip to the allergist.

There aren't many allergists out here, so it took us a few months to get in.  Last Monday was Kade's appointment.  Praise God, the doctor did NOT think his hives were anything food related.  However, in order to do allergy testing, Kade had to be completely unmedicated for a week before his appointment.  He was miserable.  Runny nose, cough, itchy eyes and nose.  She suggested testing him for other allergies.  

Kade is allergic to dust mites, mold, basically all trees and all weeds.  He actually handled the testing fairly well.  We played cows and tractors while we waited.  Cows and tractors makes everything better.  :)

The doctor said that Kade being so young, his allergies will probably worsen as he gets older, and he will probably develop more.  What makes matters worse, is that he suffers from both indoor and outdoor allergens, and basically year round.  In addition, the allergies make his asthma flair up.  She prescribed Zyrtec, Singulair, Flonase, for daily treatment, and since he was so miserable, we were temporarily on breathing treatments and oral steroids.  She then mentioned Immunology.  Basically, for 7 months, Kade would go in once a week, and receive 2 shots that were specially mixed for him, with small doses of his allergens.  After 7 months, he would go in every other week, and gradually taper off.  The allergy shots are a 5 year treatment program.  Ugh.  However, she said it would decrease his symptoms and keep him from getting any new allergies.  Her hope would be that he would be able to not require all the medications. 

Marc and I have talked a great deal about it. I think in the long run, the shots would be beneficial and make the most sense, but I'm having a hard time with how young Kade is.  I've spoken with some other medical professionals and mothers.  They all say the same thing.  There isn't a medical reason to not start them now, but being under 3 years of age seems awfully young to have to sit through weekly shots.  Once we start, it is a huge commitment. I think we will do it, but just not sure at what point.  

Has anyone out there had any experience with allergy shots with little kids?  Any and all advice would be greatly appreciated!  

Marleigh update

Guess who rocked Kindergarten Roundup?  

This girl!

About a month ago we had Kindergarten Roundup.  I had no idea what to expect, but I was both nervous and excited all at the same time.  Daddy very graciously agreed to go with us.  The moment we got in the door, they whisked Marleigh away from us for her evaluations.  Marleigh took it in stride.  She just turned and waved over her should as they walked off.  I can honestly say it was probably harder on me than her!  We sat down to fill out paperwork, and I realized Marc was the only Dad there, so I let him off the hook and he got to leave.  He is such a good Daddy.  

What seemed like forever later, they brought Marleigh back into the common area.  She sat down to play with 2 of her friends, and they took me back to go over her screening.  Marleigh did extremely well in all areas but the motor/coordination.  She was only in the 40 percentile, but when I explained she was born 14 weeks early at only 2 pounds, they were very understanding and impressed with how well she has done.  

It is insane to think that Marleigh is about to begin school in the fall. She is more than ready.  I told her that Kindergarten will last all day, and she jumped up and down saying, "Yippee!  I love school!"

~~

A couple of weeks later, we returned to Wichita for another eye check up.  Marleigh has continued to progress very nicely.  We had only been patching her good eye for 2 hours a day 3 times a week.  Her vision had maintained at that level, so I am thrilled to report, that we no longer have to patch her good eye!  We will go back in May to make sure that she can maintain it on her own, but for now, we are just so happy!